Wedding: Kenya Style

This was supposed to be M's post but he demured since "girls should really write about weddings".

The last 3 Sundays at church have included the announcement that two church members were getting married this Sunday. Apparently the Kenyan government requires the announcement of the upcoming nuptials 3 weeks in a row before allowing the ceremony to proceed.

We were surprised to learn that the ceremony would take place during regular Sunday service instead of at a separate event. We asked our friends about this and they said that although it is quite common for people to have weddings on Saturday like in the US, churches have started encouraging weddings on Sunday. Apparently Kenya, like America, has a rapidly declining marriage rate and many children are now born out of wedlock. Single parenthood is soaring and without the social safety net available in the US, it’s a real problem. Although we decry our current welfare system as inadequate compared to the European social systems, our system in still the envy of many Kenyans. To address declining marriage, the churches have been encouraging people to get married during regular service and church members cater a reception afterward. This lessens the financial burden on the couple and their parents and removes any financial excuse to avoid marriage.

The wedding began with two groups of children walking and dancing down the aisle. First, three little boys shyly shuffle-danced down the aisle and then two little girls more confidently followed dancing and blowing bubbles as songs in Swahili played. The bridesmaids followed dancing more exuberantly and took their time coming up the aisle. I would guess they danced for 2-3 minutes in their chocolate brown bridesmaids dresses (the color is currently also popular in the US for fall weddings, small world). With much fanfare, the bride walked down the aisle in a big, poufy, white, wedding dress and veil. She looked exactly like an American bride.

Instead of jumping right into the vows to complete the 20 minute ceremony that occurs in the US, the bride and groom were seated in the front and the preacher proceeded to speak about marriage for 45 minutes. He cited the common US statistic that 50% of marriages end in divorce and complained that they didn’t do these surveys in Kenya; nonetheless he felt the problem of divorce was just as bad. He lamented that Kenyans (and Americans too, I guess) seem to take their marriage advice from Tyra Banks and Oprah Winfrey, neither of whom are married. He detailed his recommendations for marriage, going into very specific detail about everything from sex to finances.

The sermon was excellent but definitely a departure from what occurs during an American wedding. It would be fairly taboo, for example, to discuss divorce during an American ceremony but the preacher seemed committed to using the occasion to teach the congregation. As we come up on our first anniversary, it was nice to hear his message loud and clear: marriage is hard but rewarding work.

Afterward the couple enjoyed the meal and cake prepared by the congregation and the day wrapped up. M and I agreed that we loved our wedding but that this simple version was nice too. How lovely to have your entire community come to your wedding and not to worry about invitations, favors, or guest lists. We did miss the dancing but something tells me that “Dancing in the Moonlight” would have been lost on this crowd anyway. Some things about America will just have to stay in America.