Lost in Translation

Often on Sunday afternoons, depending on the tides, I’ll head out to the beach to snorkel a little bit. There’s a decent reef a few hundred yards off of the beach, though you have to walk through a minefield of sea urchins and stonefish during low tide to get out there. The Beach Boys use these prickly creatures to their advantage. Whenever they see a mzungu walking out to the reef alone, they shout, “very dangerous! Stonefish! If they sting you will be a man without a future!”. They then hurry over to the startled tourist and “escort” them to the reef, and then demand payment for their services. En route, they often regale the foreigner with tales of woe to increase their payment, when in reality, they’re just 20 year old men who don’t want to get a job. Several have asked us for gifts, medicine or told us that we’re lying when we say we’re volunteers. While we have sympathy for the poor of Kenya, these guys are not the poor, they’re the lazy.

If they can’t get you to buy something using friendly tactics, they generally try to annoy you enough that you pay them something to just go away. Sadly, countless tourists have fallen for this trap making this a lucrative job since you do nothing but run your mouth all day long.

Anyways, as you may have gathered, we’re pretty over the Beach Boys, so we tend to talk to them a little in Swahili, act slightly cold-shouldered, and they generally get the point pretty quickly that we’re not giving them anything.

This past Sunday, I went out and a guy of course began warning me of the stonefish and offered to take me out. I responded with, “rafiki, tafadhali, ninataka kutembea pa moja”. (Friend, please, I want to walk alone.). He continued walking a few steps behind me, but I was definitely giving him the cold shoulder. I then told him in English, “ I don’t want or need your help, please leave me alone!”. Still a few steps back. I tried the Swahili again, and he continued to follow. Finally, we arrived at the snorkel spot and he asked for “kitu kidogo” (something small). I told him that I wasn’t going to pay him and he can’t just demand money from people who don’t want his help. I dove in and he walked dejectedly back to shore.

After my dive, I told E the story and she commiserated in the Beach Boys being really annoying. Then she asked me how I told him I wanted to walk alone.

Me: “Ninataka kutembea pa moja”.
E: “M, ‘pa moja’ means ‘together’, ‘pekee yangu’ means ‘alone’”
Me: [Facepalm] “Well now I just feel bad.”

The poor Beach Boy much have been so confused. I coldly told him “I want to walk together to the reef”, and then a few minutes later told him to leave, and then with increasing anger said that I wanted to walk together. I guess I need to hit the books a little more.